@ruxpin64
Welcome to the seas friend!
My crew and I have been playing since the Beta days over a year ago. In the beginning the experience you're describing was much more common place before you could create a closed crew. With the advent of closed crews and clubs you'll have a much better chance of finding a group of like-minded people instead of randos who just want to watch the world burn.
I would highly recommend trying to form friendships online and create a dependable crew roster. You could join a clan, but you may be required to play at a specific frequency or participate in specific clan events. If you're looking for something more casual, post in the "find a crew" forum here or try the Club feature (I've used it from the home button on my xbox, not sure how you use it on a PC).
With clubs you can log in and create an invitation with an incredibly simple and user friendly interface. You can specify the type of adventure you're working for e.g. "looting forts," "working on Bilge Rat Challenges," "Merchant missions," "all PVP," etc. You can also specify other things like "adults only", "Kids welcome," "know how to sail," "must have a mic," "don't be abusive," etc.
You'll quickly be flooded with responses. You'll have a chance to chat with each player over your mic before you invite them to your ship. I have usually filled all 4 slots of our galleon inside of 5 minutes. This is by far the best way to meet random people and have a great time on the seas. If you really enjoy their company, friend them and play again. Playing regularly with people you know is definitely the way to go.
In the last year of playing 2-3 times a week for a few hours at a time I have only encountered a handful of truly rude people, and they were rarely if ever a part of my crew, far less than pretty much any other online game I have ever played.
Overall this is a fantastic game with an equally fantastic community.
Hope to see you on the seas!