All right mateys, settle down with ye grog an' a w***h, this be a long one...
The story I be about to tell ye is all true, although some of it might seem like just another grand tale from the Great Sea. Nevertheless, hear me out.
As we all sail the Great Sea, from time to time, one gets bored of the never ending cycle of getting orders from the Merchants and their hysteria over not just eating the pigs and chickens they be hellbent on givin' a grand cruise across the seas, looking fer treasure the shine o'which always appears to strangely fade after a short while, and of course from dealing with the unruly members o' crews that have long since buried their last chest of treasure an' parted from this Earth.
Aye, ye know what I be speaking about - the thrill of battle, the spark of pulling off a grand scheme, the joy of cashing in a bigger prize...
As ye might be aware, there be a fort out in the Great Sea, what goes by the name 'Keel Haul'. One shivers to imagine the horrors that gave name to that wretched place. Some of you have no doubt heard about the vast hoards o' gold and shiny objects that the damned place supposedly be hiding from the eyes o' the world. No doubt ye've also heard the horrifying tales about fighting of hordes o' the dead at the blasted place, the members o' the crews who died on the sad, sorry little speck o' sand, what some long since forgotten Capt'n fancied callin' his base an' the hiding place o' some great fortune of his, quite possibly composed entirely of illgotten gains, all of whom were so obsessed with gold in life that they stuck around after the Ferryman came to take them away from this plane.
This story is about just that place. As it were, me crew and I one afternoon long ago spotted an oddly lookin' cloud in the sky far in the distance, what we thought we would take a look at - sometimes, the winds and the skies point to places worthy of our interest, and who knows, what one might find... As we came closer, we noticed a light gleaming in the distance, what we quickly figured was a ship docked at a far away island. That fort full of the damned I mentioned earlier - 'Keel Haul'. We went there, thinkin' we might be in fer a treat. As we neared, we saw another ship in battle, cannons ablaze, hordes of the unruly dead swarmin' the shore o' the damned place, the crew o' the ship there fightin' fer their very lives. So we decided to help them, for a while... We thought we might get a share o' that grand prize we'd heard so much about. And so we fought alongside them, them thinkin' we were brothers in arms.
But alas, greed gets the better of men. As the battle went on, a plan hatched in our heads. As the capt'n o' the undead hordes would come upon the beach to make a last stand o' his, we would smuggle a keg o' fiery powder aboard that good ship lying beside us, blastin' away at the undead mob. The battle went on, when finally - the Capt'n appear'd! As he shot his gun an' swung his razor, we took our measures an' went loose on their ship; a keg went off by it, our guns unloading with deadly force at point blank range upon their doomed vessel... They fell to our guns and swords, one by one, 'till they had been vaquished from that terrible beach.
Only the capt'n o' the dead now awaited his judgment, and swiftly it came... We put him to rest, and he gave up his treasure upon this Earth. Thinkin' that the crew we had so sinisterly betrayed would no doubt be back 'fore long, we 'atched another plan: we needn't take the treasure now - no, too long it would have taken us, we'd fall victim to our own greed before we'd gotten it all aboard. No, the only thing we be needin' was a small key upon the dead and dead-again Capt'n rattling body. We took it - and ran.
As we set our sails, we soon spotted a ship on the horizon, without a shadow o' doubt headin' fer us. So we set our sails to the wind, and fled across the waves. Soon not only one, but two ships were on our tail, chasing us down, one a regular galleon, the ship o' the crew we'd so woefully betrayed, the other a majestically lookin' vessel in colors o' red an' purple. We needed a plan. And a light we saw: a man o' our crew secretly jumped ship with the key to the grand prize upon his person, swam to a nearby island, the name o' which escapes me, but it was a larger one, far out to see, where smugglers be said to roam... And there, marooned he hid while we dastardly fled the scene, none o' our would-be captors any the wiser o' his whereabouts...
As we'd gotten far enough away from that speck o' sand where our man had hid, we made one sharp turn, placin' the brilliantly colored admiral's galleon directly in the line o' our broadside - and we set her ablaze, and with awful colors in red, green an' orange, that ship lit up like a christmastree on fire! But they had boarded us! There was a short, but bloody battle upon our deck, and shortly afterwards, the other ship turned up, ignitin' their canisters o' vengeance in our general direction. We started to take in water; the admiral was sinkin', and soon, we were too... We thought this would be our end...
But then, up from the depths came a man o' the merfolk, carrying a torch burnin' with a hue not o' this world. We took us down, and from here on, I don't remember much...
Soon, however, three of us found ourselves upon a good ship worthy o' the Sea, headin' to pick up our crewmate... We found him where he'd hid all this time, on that lonely island, with the key in his safe possession. And so we set sail for that damned fort once more.
Ye wouldn't believe the look on our faces as we finally laid our greedy eyes upon the treasure in the vault, much less as we carried it all safely back to civilization...
T'day, as we now all live like kings an' barons off of our deceitful fortune, I sometimes reminisce on those poor crews who we so recklessly led to their graves, betrayed and robbed o' their rightful fortunes - what a story they were the backdrop of.
If only they knew what really transpired during our battle an' chase...
But I've spoken long enough - set yer sails, the Sea be awain' us, boys!
