Long ago mysteries were born. The Ancients of the southern isles; the Kraken, mermaids and their potential factions, curses afflicting weeping chests and golden grog, animated remains of the unliving whose memories are read by spooky old witches, and more.
I'm here to tell you of some thing I have witnessed. And to offer instruction on how to protect oneself from the curse of the golden feather!
This is no false prose, I am not writing a story. I am offering anecdotes and solutions, so here me well mateys!
You must protect the golden chickens! I mean the golden chickens found randomly in Sea of Thieves. You know, the ones you've all drown, sold, traded, killed, and otherwise hunted throughout the seas? Yea, those ones.
They are NOT mere merchant voyage fodder! And believe me when I tell you there are those in the know! These mysterious strangers are named on your merchant voyages. NPC's if you prefer to call them, but they are not. These names listed on merchant voyages are clues to the identity of a secret cabal of sailors whose efforts seem driven toward ridding the sea of thieves of golden chickens! We must not let them succeed!
The golden chickens, they have power. Secret, mysterious, apparently random powers, powers that are both unseen and difficult to track. But they have powers none the less!
Kill a golden chicken and watch as you continue your voyages, skeletons will spawn. Ships will almost seem to appear randomly in your future in an attempt to raid your bounties, even the Kraken seems involved in this conspiracy of mysterious power to sink ships that betray the golden ones!
I've tested this theory, I've lived through the lightest parts of this curse, and though I survived. I have learned to fear killing our fowl friends. They've been gracious to me in their warnings, and I have heeded them.
I once drown a Golden feathered one. I was interested to see how long it would take. 45 seconds that day, on an aside, as soon as the golden one died, skeletons appeared on my shore to assault me, handily! I was more than capable to fend the undead off, but I learned that day of the most simple mote of power these feathered beings have.
I soon plucked another golden chicken up, and learned well to keep it on my ship as a sign of good luck.
After committing to that action, of keeping a golden chicken in a coop on my main deck in full view of the sun, luck did begin to shine on me.
I was finding higher tiered loot in the game, chests, skulls, more voyages as well which led to further riches!
It had seemed that by befriending the fowl animal I had gained a sign of luck and prestige. Sails that would swoop near me behaved as friends! Treasure values increased! Winds were always blowing in my favor! Nigh had the Kraken dare to appear only to choose another erstwhile vessel rather than I! And more! All notes remarkable as notes of good fortune!
Yet, as much as I thought I had learned, I was wrong...
I nearly chose to end my quest that same day. As I had I pulled into an outpost and sold my much beloved loot. To include the golden chicken.
Immediately, I learned to regret that choice. I had clearly offended the bird by dismissing it into the hands of the merchants. Immediately after a ship had landed at port and we battled without any parlay allowed nor offered. I retreated with barely my hide intact.
Only to have my crew log out, as I wanted for others so did the Kraken appear to sink my ship. I even tried to leave the server and move into a sloop solo. I found the winds against me at every turn, stormclouds over head seemed to chase me throughout the night flooding my hold and wreaking my hull. Ships behaved in hostility at every approach. Each treasure I would uncover guarded by increasing hordes of skeletons each loaded with firearms. I even started experiencing network lag issues, frame rate drops and xbox app party chat network errors. The chests I would find were of low value, the skulls as well.
Then I started to piece it all together.
It's those shady merchants. And yes, the chicken is blessed!
You see, the merchants are a cover for an order of chicken hunters of some kind, of this I am certain. Other game suits their needs as well, but the golden chicken is the creature of the most respect. These "NPC's" (as we've been convinced to call them, as we've also been convinced to presume they are just random names and not truly people) are lauding upon us wealth with each birds turn in, because they understand the true value of the golden chickens myth! Whatever the deepest parts of this conspiracy and secret are, they know the truth, and we are their unwitting linchpins. Or perhaps LYNCHpins.
This is why I must share with you my findings. Take heed the instructions that follow and your sail will go more smoothly.
RULE THE FIRST NEVER KILL A GOLDEN CHICKEN
To do so shall incur the wrath of their curse. You will find an increase in negative events will haunt your voyages for days! You fall into many traps. PvE will become so difficult that you'll lose more loot than you gain. Griefers will find you when you least expect it and plague your SoT experience. Your xbox controls will become sluggish as PC players will assault you constantly. If your on PC a similar fate shall be experienced as network lag, framerate drops, and the death of mouse batteries or accidently unplugged cables will frustrate you when you need to rely upon the reverse the most. Even the Kraken may spawn as your team logs out and everyone forgets to load cannonballs or your sword is the only weapon you can load after death! And so much more, your loot values will plummet, winds will reverse on you and so many more potential concerns as noted above.
SECONDLY NEVER SELL YOUR PRIZED GOLDEN CHICKEN
You can sell some. But it's risky. I have kept a golden chicken as a prize aboard my ship and sold others to the merchants with no loss. I believe these chicken lords/gods/spirits/beings/or curse itself takes it much more lightly so long as you keep ONE blessed bird on your craft after sale. I personally sell none of these birds any longer can I help it. But players do demand loot, and rep from voyages so often in crews my hands are tied. But I always insist to keep at least ONE unsold (so get an extra crate early). This act of singular attrition seems enough to assuage the curse of the golden fowl. If you do all such plagues above are nigh but guaranteed. Usually when you least expect it! But don't be too at ease yet! This ban on sale extends up to and beyond the point of logging out of the game! It's true! When preparing to log out, subscribers to the golden truth (such as you, dear reader) should ENSURE that your golden mascot be delivered to another crew and, if able, equally revered! Come hell, or high waters, NEVER SELL THE CHICKEN, at the absolute worst, leave it on deck or dock of another ship! Even if you must sink your craft or die to the assaults of 100 overprotective, untrusting, voyagers you must at all times assure deliverance of the fowl to another crew, or risk the curse extend into your REAL LIFE! I don't know how they've done it, but they have. The Golden Birds affect seems to even extend into our universe! It's form I cannot say, be it parking tickets, stubbed toes, running out of a needed ingredient for a recipe, or your father running off with your spouse (regardless of gender!) Yes even that! The curse WILL haunt you. So please for your own sake, hand off the chicken with kindness and gentility to another crew or IF YOU MUST leave it on a dock for another crew to inherit.
THIRDY PROTECT THE FOWL!
As the Golden Chicken exists on your ship little attention need be paid to it. Though foul weather and griefers and more can and WILL plague you in the Sea of Thieves take heart as you sail with one of these birds on board. However bad your daily experience may be, know that it CAN and WILL be worse if you do not heed these warnings.
But despite the satisfaction of hauling one of these demigods incarnate on board your ship you must at the least protect it from death.
You see, the bird is like a charm for your ship. It can and will protect you. But you must protect it. If you shoudl fail expect all of the above to occur.
But what if I am sinking?
Then, it appears, all that is asked is that you die in your efforts and respawn elsewhere. But it is better that you should swim to a near shore with your chicken in hand and hide it from villains!To include, especially, other players who would simply sell it or kill it. I've noticed that when the worst does come to pass that by at least hiding the beast away blesses my next voyage greater than the last. Naturally you should with all haste get another coop and find another mascot bird to protect! Do these things and your upcoming blessings shall be revealed.
DO NOT LOSE FAITH ITS EASY TO DO - ESPECIALLY IN A VIDEO GAME - DON'T
The effects of the chickens blessing may seem unnoticeable at times. Days may be spent in the game under a pall of bad events, or negative experiences. Even your real life may be affected at times.
It's not because the blessing is a lie, it's because of the sins of your former self!
Admit it. You've sold chickens in the past - golden ones. You've likely killed them as well or gotten them killed even if by accident. Even if your a first timer, your simple ignorance is enough of an offense! I have determined that all of the bad things that have happened to me can be traced to SELF. The blessing of the golden chicken is real, and with it's blessing shining seas can be felt! The longer you continue to adhere to these warnings and this wisdom the better things will become!
But even in the face of that truth, there is a foulness in the air. I've mentioned the merchant voyages. Every time a golden chicken is killed or sold by others, the strength of the curse grows. And there are ALOT of others who do NOT believe! Therefore it is only by your singular good grace that the power of the curse can be assuaged.
But how shall the act of one being overcome the act of so many others?
The power to overcome lies in your voice!
You must PREACH!
Share this post! Remark upon your learning on twitter, facebook, every avenue you can muster! Create memes! Post on forums! Blog! Share your voice in game via text or voice chat! Tell this story! Convince others of it's truth! Encourage them to preach it as well! CONSTANTLY! As the following spreads it may become possible that we can overturn the negative pall that lingers on our voyages and in our lives!
Do these things and the uncertain evil plans of the merchants and their "customers" will unravel! While we're at it it shall behoove one and all to uncover more secrets, and truths regrading the above villains! I am convinced they know more than is being told. Rare seems to know some things about the evil in their coding as well. Hints such as LUCKY 13, PANDORA, and NOLEMONS are clues leading us toward the conspiracies heart!
I believe I have at least one part understood from that riddle, on an aside. NO LEMONS...
No Lemons OBVIOUSLY indicates an agenda directed toward the destruction of the GOLDEN birds Lemons are yellow, so too could Golden Chickens be described as such. It's so obvious to me now! These mysterious merchant customers who are asking for chickens OBVIOUS are killing the birds and siphoning the energies of their power! They mean to destroy all the chickens! Thankfully, they respawn, this is due to the hidden group within Rare's development team who are dedicated to assuring the birds do not go extinct! Go Team!
PANDORA obviously remarks on "all of the evils of men". as per the classical Pandora myth. It's a direct clue that we must defend against said evils! Keeping that phrase, easily spotted, in the riddle without disguise was an act dedicated toward assuring that the hint of prospective danger in the riddle be noticed. Even if the riddle was left unsolved, it was a sign from the dev teams hidden cabal to warn us of what's ahead.
LUCKY 13 I struggle with this... I have decided that it must ultimatly refer to one of two possibilities. It is either the account of how many within Rare's secret team as a clue to us regarding how many "insider" allies we have in this following!
Or, it's a description to account for the number of evil secret merchant "npc's" truly exist despite the apparently random names provided on merchant voyages.
In the least... I am convinced of the above. I request that my voice be heard! I beg that you raise your own voice as well! Preach my brothers and sisters! Preach each of you to all who would hear! Share this knowledge and share your own knowledge on the topic!
Post here, let me know what you've experienced in this regard! Mayhap TOGETHER we can raise this notion beyond a single post on a website! We can ONLY defeat this concern together!
until then, remember:
Never kill your chicken.
Keep an extra golden chicken on board your craft, in plain sight, at all times.
Never log out or abandon your chicken, always hand it off to another crew even if they sink you.
If you are sunk, stow the bird safely ashore. Or die trying!
Bear in mind all of the above and let our mascots be seen!
