The Lament of the Wailing Barnacle

  • Now gather round me pirate chums,
    I've yet more tales to tell.
    About the wailing Barnacle
    and the tragedy to which she sailed.

    It started a relaxing night,
    some merchant quests to do.
    But once a full four crew we had,
    the itch for mischief grew.

    The plan to fight a cursed fleet
    went South when cloud went down.
    But west our port at daggertooth
    new fortress cloud did frown.

    We sailed straight there with wary souls,
    some far off ships did spy.
    Took some hits while coming in
    but moored her well, first try!

    Those cursed bones we fought and broke,
    the waves went smooth and fast.
    Quite soon possessed that grand vault key,
    our fortune claimed at last!

    We brought the spoils from shore to ship
    we made all haste in fear.
    That we might catch ships rolling in
    to take our riches dear.

    Twas no other ship that dared
    but something from the deep.
    That otherworldly roar was heard
    the kraken wakened from its sleep.

    Far too hard we'd worked to see
    this ship sink with our spoils.
    But had full faith that we'd survive
    those grasping, inky coils.

    Perhaps we were too confident,
    we fought with all our might.
    But a rubbery limb sealed off our path
    to fix the holes aright.

    And now with water pouring in
    from every single breach.
    The ship began to float quite low,
    the bilge still couldn't reach.

    With massive limb the creature slapped and
    knocked us to and fro.
    Now finally that arm had moved,
    “repairs! Heave-to lads, go!”

    Me finest crewmen off the ship
    the Leviathan did suck.
    And while we bailed the toll we heard,
    from victory defeat was plucked.

    The faintest shade of hope there was,
    for one of us survived.
    And near the spot we had gone down,
    once we three were revived.

    We set our course to get it back,
    while one kept loot afloat.
    Two arms of that dread beast remained,
    as if 'twas just to gloat.

    We sailed back to the inky sea,
    and made great timing too.
    Those beastly arms had disappeared,
    the water once more blue.

    Now lucky here we are indeed,
    I had the gall to think.
    For crewmate Seth had kept it all
    from managing to sink.

    We all rushed to the bow to spy
    the sea gods did we beg.
    "Please let us get our loot back home,
    each chest, skull, crate, and keg."

    It was about this time I thought
    “the mega keg's out there.”
    And asked our man to find it
    for soon we'd be right there.

    Those bits of shine we came upon
    the keg was not yet found.
    We should have slowed or trimmed the sail
    but were blind and treasure bound.

    Belated came the call to halt
    and anchor then to drop.
    The last thing that we saw and heard,
    a blinding flash and thunderous pop.

    Again the wailing Barnacle
    had sunk to the sea floor.
    No time to bail she was far gone
    before we'd passed the ferry door.

    Too far we were when back we came
    our loot we'd never find.
    From Marauders arch we vainly sailed
    no happy end in mind.

    To empty sea devoid of goods,
    our deflated crew arrived.
    Aye twas a shame for all the toils
    and trials in which we strived.

    But unflappable a crew we be,
    we shake it off and say:
    The sea of thieves she giveth,
    and the sea of thieves taketh away.”

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