Not a bad nights work

So the wife said she was having an early night last night... and we all know what that meant for me!!!.... thats right, an uninterupted.... long...... hard session of grinding (anyone whos been married 10yrs or more will know im referring to playing sea of thieves, anyone who has been in a relationship a shorter amount of time than that maybe expecting this story to go in a very different direction...trust me, it doesnt) anyway, i log on and join a random crew.. on tje xbox you get a taste of whats to come in advance as you can hear your new crewmates talking whilst still on the loading screen... its a bit like try before you buy and often you'll be ready to hit that leave game option before youve even spawned as a result of this feature... certain phrases can induce this instinct such as 'theres an island, arggghh! Wheres the brakes' or 'please mom, let me have 10 more minutes before bed on the game... theres a nice man on the ship who wants to show me his kraken puppy' but the one i was met with should have been a deal breaker, i could hear ' i'mo git me a bomb barrel from that there rats nest an b*****e up some skeletons, yes siree an they wont know a go'damm thing about it so god bless the united states"... but something urged me to stay.. so i spawned, right on the deck of captain D.Trump!... 'very good evening to you my dear fellow pirate' I began, before being interupted with ' you boy, better git them bombs from that island up into that goddamm rats nest so i can take out that there skull fort, god bless the united states of america!'.... at this point, i shouldve left... but ive never successfully completed a skull fort before and i sincerely believed that my new slightly unbalanced, unneccessarily patriotic and a little psychotic crewmate was just the man for the job...... so with great enthusiasm i put them there bombs in that goddam rats nest and set sail. We arrived at the fort and this fella pretty much destroyed every living thing on that island with such joy and entertaining commentary... taking great delight in the pain and suffering he was causing the skeleton... at one point one got stuvk against the wall and couldnt move, it mustve been some kimd of glitch so he dropped am unlit keg in front of it and laughed with pure delight as he teased and tortured this skeleton 'give me one good reason why i shouldnt shoot that there bomb you bony *** of a *****, im genna make you wish your momma never did get pregnant by that man skeleton you call dad boy' he teased.... i became slightly concerned at this point and tried to google the phone number for royal society for the protection of skeletons... then came the boss so we killed him and loaded our ship up amd headed to the outpost... we made a good few thousand a peice... at this point i got a message from a lad from chicago who i sometimes play with saying he was 2 islands away from the end of an athena if i wanted to join, so i did... 30 mins later we cashed in that 6k chest with all the other goodies and with that i said 'god bless him and gob bless the united states of america'