The Very Hungry Megalodon:
We all know by now that nothing summons Death himself in all his forms like a ship with absolutely nothing but a chicken or two for a Merchant mission. But fate truly wanted to stretch her legs one day... In the final stretch, bringing our chicken-nuggets-to-be to Ancient Spire, the Meg came to play. But as we pulled into port, preparing to say our goodbyes (and thanks for pushing us along the entire last half of the trip without so much as a nibble), we realized she wasn't going anywhere. Whether it was a change in appetite, or sense of loneliness that fueled her determination, we'll never know.
She just kept swimming straight into the island, until eventually she flew like something out of Peter Pan. After circling the ship, she returned to the sea and posed with the crew, shown here:
- Our Ship Master: the Stig's Pirate Cousin- Captain "Too Fast and Furious" RedPhage
- The Mice Captain (don't ask): "Snipes-the-Skeleton-but-not-the-Barrel McGee" AwksDad
But alas, just as no good deed goes unpunished, so all good things must come to an end. With the chickens screaming their heads off on deck, we each downed a grog, climbed the mast with nothing but our cutlasses, and jumped onto her back where we held on for the mother of all rodeos; and so even the Mighty Megan fell to a death by a thousand cuts.
Though her wrath would not end with her death. With us still on her back, she gave a final thrash of her tail- and I watched helplessly as Capt. RedPhage disappeared to Joe Neate-knows-where... Through his howls of laughter, we listened as he was sent flying under water from Ancient Spire like a bat outta the Devil's Roar- past every wreck and island we had passed on the voyage, until he eventually struck land and was bounced upwards, falling onto Galleon's Grave Outpost!
Mice Capt. AwksDad, meanwhile, took only a glancing blow; he hung suspended above the ship, while Davy Jones contemplated whether it was worth crossing RedPhage over custody of a soul, before throwing him back.
We know next to nothing about how this happened- but we care even less! It has taken its place firmly among our best memories on these Seas. Rare, if ye hear of our tale, understand that our crew is always impressed by your commitment to serving the community you've gathered, and dedication to ironing out its kinks. But that being said- DON'T YOU DARE remove this bug.
Signed,
The Martyr of a Million Fates- Captain "Deathwish" FizzyPigeon9310.
