The following be a recounting of real events, transmitted to ye in the third person by meself
'Twas a bright and fine day when out upon the sea a pirate set on a voyage. At that time he was merely Fey, a pirate of no great renown. But upon that day a great boredom did smite his mind from on high, and he was laid low by it. In a highly dissatisfied manner he did look back upon his prior achievements, asking himself what they had all counted for, for in his mind they were naught but hazy memories of times past. Was that his doom then? Cursed forever to sail the seas, leaving behind but a fading trail of easily forgotten memories and friends doomed forever to the dreaded "last online two months ago"? "Nay," said he, "Nay for that shall not be my fate. I shall not fade into obscurity, but rather I shall blaze forth into glory! The time now is not the time for Fey, the time has come for a new name, a new legend. The legend... OF ROWBOAT MAN!!!"
theme music plays
Now I am sure that many of you have heard the tales, for they are told far and wide because there is no emissary that has been left unthwarted by rowboat man! All upon the waves know to fear and respect the great and glorious name of Rowboat Man! For none can escape him, and he can escape all!
On that fateful day, Rowboat Man did set out to forge a new destiny, and forge it he did.
Abandoning his ship at Lone Cove, he watched as it sailed into the distance, perhaps a tiny bit of nervousness playing around the incredibly handsome features of his face. But now was not the time for lamenting the lack of an ammo crate and speed, now was the time to take to the rowboat and find some treasure for the taking!
And take treasure he did. On that day he crossed half the Sea of Thieves, harrying many a ship and even finishing up a skeleton fortress. He picked up a voyage from the Gold Hoarders, and finished it without a single death! Then he did the same against a skeleton captain and his crew! Rowboat Man knew no defeat! He ended that day with a well earned bit of rest with his beloved parakeet Kip, who had been along with him for the entire journey but had not said or done much of consequence.
And so Rowboat Man was born.
