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Pirate Times

Bringing You Ocean Tales From The Sea Of Thieves
July Edition
12th Jul
Price 1 Coin

Local Business

Is It a Bird? Is It a Bear?

It's both, in figurehead form! Shipwrights across the Sea of Thieves have informed the Pirate Times of a new item unlikely to remain in stock for long, depicting a fearsome bear and bird. This fine figurehead brings to life a cave painting on a distant island, and legend has it that the beasts portrayed were mighty conquerors of witches. Something about the whole story sparks a tune in our souls…

Salty Has Surprises in Store

Pictured: a familiar face on the Sea of Thieves shopkeeper circuit

Many long-time wanderers on the Sea of Thieves will remember Salty, one of the first entrepreneurs to set up shop at an Outpost.

He informs the Pirate Times that after many months spent seeking a 'killer' item to sell, he's found something special that will surprise new and old customers alike. Salty even has a new business partner, but is keeping details quiet until it's time to make a splash.


Share a Shameful Tavern Tale

Pictured: shameful behaviour illustrated via the medium of the vomit bucket

Even the dastardliest (surely a real word) pirates suffer pangs of conscience. See MacDoland's recent tavern trip to confess stories of downright dirtiness!

MacDoland sank a sloop using a Chest of Sorrow, later realising the crew were new sailors with no hope of averting their fate. More pirates then shared their own secret shame. Why not join in? Confession is good for the soul: http://bit.ly/PTShame

Truth of Green Glow Exposed

Pictured: creepy cache responsible for the luminescence in question

The Pirate Times had received reports from several concerned pirates about an alarming emerald gleam on the horizon at night. Some blamed a Skeleton Lord, others feared a great curse or even little green mermen!

But the truth is out there: Capt Ballzonia of the Banana Republic has now revealed the source to be a huge haul of glowing skulls on board his ship. Let's just hope the skellies don't decide they want them back…


Merry Merrick Stows His Drum

Despite a recent surge in popularity, Merrick the bard has retired and is taking a well-earned holiday far from the risk of shark encounters. Though many didn't believe the tale of how he lost his legs, his discovery of the Hungering One was proven all too real.

Merrick leaves with gratitude to the many pirates who avenged his ankles, leaving fond farewells in journals around the Sea of Thieves.

Pictured: Merrick, shortly before packing his meagre belongings and moving on


The Seas Are Still Unsafe!

Pictured: double sea beast trouble awaits the least fortunate sailors

After the defeat of The Hungering One, pirates began to put their peg legs up, thinking the danger had passed. But reports of ongoing Megalodon scuffles suggest otherwise.

It seems that the battle awoke more of the creature's kind, and some of them will even attack ships already entangled with a Kraken, as GullibleGambit and others have discovered! Beware, pirates, these beasts have no manners whatsoever!

Bilge Rat Bragging Rights

Pictured: an impressive feat of Skeleton Throne one-upmanship

The Bilge Rats are busy of late, devising new challenges for the adventurous. But some daring pirates are showing them up by taking their flashy feats even further!

Crypticthree is one such daredevil, somehow scrambling to a high Skeleton Throne with a Chest of Legends in tow, and later fighting off whole waves of Gunpowder Skeletons from the shallows. Good show, even if it did end in a trip to the Ferry!

Sport and Leisure

Skullball's Coming Home!

The feisty Fortune crew and friends have been at it again, organising a new sporting event for the Sea of Thieves. What is it with pirates and playtime lately?

The first ever Skullball tournament at the end of June (the Calavera Cup) saw teams striving to place skulls in the crow's nest of competing ships, with kitted-out supporters cheering on each team of Looters and Watchers. Bravo and well played! http://bit.ly/PTSkullball

Pictured: as seen through a spectator's spyglass, a Skullball player goes for goal