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Pirate Times

Bringing You Ocean Tales From The Sea Of Thieves
August Edition
9th Aug
Price 1 Coin

Entertainment

Generations of Guardians

Pictured: the power of familial love and community bonds, yesterday

The Sea Dogs have been busy lately with all the activity in The Arena! In one recent ‘contest of guardians’, a father and daughter pirating pair dubbed LPSGalaxyGamer and LPSGalaxyGamer2 (makes sense) stole the show and everyone’s hearts.


Though they sadly didn’t win the day, another pirate known as Gunny629 from the victorious crew chose to give away his valuable golden prize to the popular young lady pirate! That is one chivalrous and generous sailor.

Story Time, Gather Round

Pictured: the rogues of The Black Death, pinned down for posterity

The pirate known as Captain Hitbotc has long been renowned for his exploits and derring-do. Now Hitbotc has turned storyteller, sharing those escapades straight from the horse’s mouth for all to enjoy.


You’re sure to find him in the tavern most nights, telling tales of his own cursed origins and the misadventures of The Black Death and its crew. Why not pop by and share some stories beside the fire? As long as you don’t scare too easily…

Public Notices

You’ve Got the Powder

Recent weeks have seen pirates undertaking volatile Voyages to help the Trading Companies stock up on gunpowder barrels. Unearthing these Black Powder Stashes has proven to be a fine source of coin and reputation!


However, it’s worth remembering that this unstable cargo increases the risks posed by everyday hazards, as pirates Devyn and Freyline were reminded while battling a Kraken and digging in The Devil’s Roar respectively. It’s a precarious business – stay alert on Black Powder Runs!

Pictured: it’s all fun and games until the exploding starts

Local Business

We Shall Sail Tow-gether

Pictured: harpoon-hauling action with no monthly fee (probably)

The Pirate Times presents a new local venture for your consideration: SlapStick Tow Services! The very helpful Captain Trident and Trixster13 could save you a lot of work when your ship’s in a tight spot.


This might just prove convenient in many scenarios, including, in their own words: “Is your boat stuck? Need an escort for restocking? Crewmate not paying attention and running your ship ashore?” And with no mention of payment, how could you turn down such an offer?

Dark Relic Reclamation

Pictured: a missing Dark Relic, who knows why anyone would make this thing

Breaking news: the Pirate Times has been asked by the Order of Souls to relay word that skeletons have stolen several of their most dangerous, mystical artefacts, known as Dark Relics. Their twisted powers could be used in unholy rituals!


The Order is in the process of tapping up Duke to organise recovery crews and offer a generous reward. Word is there’ll even be a bonus for pirates who recover all five types of Relic. But beware the skeletons’ wrath…

Special Occasions

Ne’er-Do-Well Nuptials

April 25th was a very special date on the Sea of Thieves: the wedding day of pirates JPizzle and Captain3Bottles!


A huge crowd gathered in attendance as the in-demand Beardageddon oversaw the ceremony, bringing these two lovebirds together in seafaring matrimony. We at the Pirate Times send our best wishes to the romantic rogues; may you always split your loot equally and never argue over who should steer the Sloop!

Pictured: now isn’t that a life-affirming message to find in a bottle?

Most Wanted

True Criminal Work Ethic

Pictured: selected sparkly results of a productive day’s thieving

Pirates would be well-advised to steer clear of rogues FOXDIE and xSHUMBAx, who recently embarked on an epic 24-hour looting spree! Through wind, rain and deadly battles they sailed without stopping, taking a colossal 607,000 in gold.


A hard day’s work and a handsome reward! Very neatly tallied too, bonus points for admin. We’d doff our hats, but we’re worried they’d be swiped right out of our hands.

An Unlikely Fashion Icon

Pictured: Skeleton Lord or stylish impostor? Only one way to find out…

The Pirate Times has received reports from those who claim to have toppled resurgent Skeleton Lord Briggsy, but we’ve also seen this recent portrait of what appears to be the wicked lady herself, posing in that elegant mask and a typically fine outfit!


However, some claim that this is simply the devious pirate Blueeyesdante in disguise. That hand does look suspiciously fleshy. We urge you to be wary nonetheless…

Community News

365 Days on the Seas!

Some time ago now, sailors on the Sea of Thieves were asked to tell all about their first year of experiences out there seeking adventure. And indeed many responded, regaling their fellows with a wealth of heartwarming tales.


In posts, poems, pictures and videos came tales of friends and families brought together, shenanigans undertaken and incredible situations survived… so if you missed these stories the first time around, dig deep to get a sense of what makes our pirate paradise so special!

Pictured: a celebratory pirate painting for the occasion by known rascal Libby

Arts and Crafts

A Moment in (Pirate) Time(s)

Pictured: the calm before the storm of brazen chest theft attempts

A master crafter has wowed allcomers with his stunning diorama of two pirates guarding a treasure chest, brought to life in note-perfect miniaturised form.


The diorama is created in such detail that we suspect magical jiggerypokery from the Order of Souls may have been involved! The scene itself depicts artist Miguel in his pirating days, known on the seas as Capt. Micky Firebird, back to back with his loyal crewmate Capt. JBarrero. Astonishing!

The Most Painterly Pair

Pictured: who said pirates have to be unsightly and unfit for polite company?

It warms our hearts at the Pirate Times to see seafarers honouring one another’s work. In response to the hugely popular artwork of other pirates created by the prolific LatchedGlue, another talented soul by the name of Ike BG whipped up this wondrous portrait of his fellow artist.


It seems the Sea of Thieves is a community of creators as well as corsairs! At least this adds to the chances of our marvellous deeds being commemorated for future generations!