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Pirate Times

Bringing You Ocean Tales From The Sea Of Thieves
January Edition
31st Jan
Price 1 Coin

Local News

No Sails, No Worries

Pictured: wherever I lay my hen, that's my home

Pirates certainly have an unusual lifestyle, but not many decide to declutter to the point where they live in a rowboat

Keep your eyes peeled for Capt’n aoelord4, a pirate who has foregone luxury to live much closer to nature. In fact they’re probably very wet by now, having been seen rowing all the way from Mermaid’s Hideaway to Glowstone Cay! Are they seeking enlightenment? Or just scooping up a lot of floating loot?

Tip-Top Tipple Treasures?

Pictured: another reason, if required, to be a little bit mercenary

The Pirate Times is informed that a tenacious but unknown rum runner has recently chosen to scatter their stash of illicit alcohol and loot around the Sea of Thieves!

All three Trading Companies are interested in this haul, so Duke is working on tracking down the goods and finding a way for all pirates to profit. Anyone with a mercenary streak should keep their ears open for more details to emerge soon!


Pirates of Passion

An enterprising pirate by the name of Owl has set up a dating profile on something she's calling… Tindarr. The profile reveals her name, age, occupation, hobbies and some verbal sparring with early applicants.

If you're a lonely pirate beau seeking a date combined with a dose of adventure, look her up! Maybe it's time we had a lonely hearts column in the Pirate Times? But do be careful –  remember some pirates will only ever be after your booty.

Pictured: swipe right for long strolls on the Shores of Plenty

Special Occasions

Festivity or Felony?

Pictured: wait a minute... has Santa been naughty?

The Pirate Times was informed of a strange duo dressing as Mr. and Mrs. Claus during the festive period! Though no reindeer were seen hauling their ship, they were intent on delivering holiday cheer and gifts to other pirates along with a song.

Reports that the pair were locked in their own brig and sunk by suspicious recipients are quite concerning, but maybe those folks were already on the naughty list?

O Christmas Fort

Pictured: deck the Fort with skulls of skellies, fa la la la laaaa...

Further seasonal antics were undertaken by the Brig Team, who arranged glowing green loot around a Skeleton Fort to create the appearance of something known as a 'Christmas tree' out beyond the Devil's Shroud! The effect was topped off with coloured lights from the Ferry, creating a lovely festive display.

Everyone at the Pirate Times hopes that all sailors on the Sea of Thieves had a merry and bright festive season!


Musical Mastery, Move Over Merrick!

Music is a mainstay during voyages on the Sea of Thieves, and many pirates love to concoct their own shanties or create twists on established favourites.

Talented seafarer MusicalLasagna has created a fine oboe cover of the popular Becalmed, a shanty which is often given the creative treatment. This rendition, rather ironically performed on a wind instrument, is particularly soulful and haunting. We're not blubbing, you are…

Pictured: if you weren't feeling becalmed already, you will be after this

Arts and Crafts

Barrel of Brothers

Pictured: traditionally filled with rum, but cute Stubbins will do

Interestingly named pirate LunaPotato has stirred the salty souls of everyone at the Pirate Times by displaying a most handsome birthday present, crafted by a pair of caring brothers.

We could all learn a thing or two from these two stalwart gentlemen who made their sibling a finely crafted barrel, which opens to reveal adorable figures in the likeness of legendary denizens of the Sea of Thieves. Bravo!

Bilge Craft

Pictured: stylish, practical and one of a kind beyond the Shroud

CptAngryOwl has been busy in the workshop, creating a real, working Bilge Rat compass! An unusual brag - possibly even a 'weird flex' in the lingo of contemporary pirates - but as we know, Bilge Rat craftsmanship doesn't often work (sorry Duke).

This beautiful tool is crafted from wood and certainly looks the part. CptAngryOwl expects to spend some time sailing through fog-shrouded locales soon, so it should come in handy!

Sport and Leisure

Calling All Beacon Brawlers!

SirioNDB and pirate collectives Fortune and The Pirate Council are hosting the inaugural Beacon Brawlers competition! On February 9th, pirate crews will converge to duke it out for control of a Bilge Rat beacon, each crew being assigned a coloured flame from the Ferry of the Damned.

If you're the scrappy sort yourself and would like to spectate or get involved in future brawls, this could be right up your cove. Let brightly lit battle commence!

Pictured: if you're scrappy and you know it, drink some grog