After talking to Blind Bob in the super secret pirate legend hideout that absolutely nobody else knows about, it became painfully obvious that the poor guy needed someone else to blame for his bad jokes. So I took the liberty of writing him some equally bad jokes that in no way took me hours and hours and hours to think of.
How much shorter did Merrick get after he lost both of his legs ……… 2 foot.
What is Salty the parrot’s favourite type of c*****r ………...... the salty ones.
Why do people speculate about when captain Warsmith will return …….… because they don’t know but Wanda.
What do you call a pirate that uses an eye patch as a belt ………. One Eyed Willy.
What did the chest say to the other chest when it wanted to start dating ……. watch out for gold diggers.
What did the chest say to the chest of Sorrows when it wanted the crying to stop …... there’s always gold diggers.
What did people say when they heard about the first pirate to fire himself out of a cannon ………… he must have had balls of steel.
Why are skeletons bad at designing their own ships ……… they don’t really have an eye for it.
Why would skeletons be friendlier with some skin …….… because they wouldn’t have a bone to pick with somebody.
Why did skeletons become so good at shooting pirates ………… when they died they didn’t have anything else to aim for.
What did the pirate legend say when they got to level 10 Athena ……… I can still hang out with people and shoot the ship.
What do you call the pain you get from fighting a skeleton ….… a Spinal injury …… Oops ……. wrong game.
Despite what you’ve just read I am actually quite funny, and I have proof of it here in a story that’s definitely not way too long for the average attention span. FYI, I also Googled the One Eyed Willy joke to make sure that I wasn’t stealing it from somebody, and I can’t believe that no one has thought of it in thirty years.
If you've got any pirate jokes to tell then share them below.
