The worst session I've had thus far. (P.S. It's hilariously sad.)

  • These are the situations that make this game fun and rewarding. Heed the story that is coming, it's only fair that I preface with, it's a pretty good plot. Filled with hard work, then failure, luck and relief only to fail again, but with no victor.

    Here I am! After a hard days work I do the usual thing. Log on to Sea Of Thieves, select solo, sloop, closed crew and head on my way to fetch the hoarders some chests. It starts out as it usually would, I get to snake island, complete the puzzle get my seafarers chest and move on. Next spot, Marauders! whoop, hey that's more like it. At this point i'm settled in, I feel pretty good about the potential session that lies ahead, and I get cocky. I start a new voyage right there and then (pretty standard stuff but hey, it makes the story better). Crooks Hollow it was. I set sail, and what do you know. On the other side of the island, there's a big ol' galleon with a few of my cannon balls name on it. I clutch my hands and proclaim "F*** it!!! i'm Capn Leftie! Nothing can phase me!!" (it was at this point, that I ate those words). I sneak around the left side of the island, lower my sails so as to lower my profile, and think "huh, these guys really havn't seen me yet?" at that exact moment, I get boarded by two of them, I'm on the opposite side of the island still, I draw my noobular blunderbuss and fire as he climbs the ladder. BANG i'm dead... how?! "Whatever, i'll respawn and take them out!" I ponder about all the possible plays I can make while on the ferry, and run through the door full pace! BANG... i'm dead again... This ensued for about 20 minutes, my ship didn't even have a hole in it. Later, I spawned in and sniped one, yes! And then I died to a shark. Galleon pulls in, blasts my ship to all hell and it's gone. Gone like water through a cheese grater. Bye chests! "oh well... rocky start, lets keep going". So I respawn and set off and what do I see, an immediate ship wreck! I jump at the opportunity, pull up a captains chest, a villainous skull and some rare tea, for celebratory purposes. That's my kind of luck! Hell yea! i'm gonna turn these in right away. I head for an outpost, DING galleon!! I pull a fast U-Turn and get the Dog's Rig out of there. I sail across the map as they give chase. Eventually they let me go and I relax, only to pull into a storm, that magically struck me 4 times with lightning, and put 3 holes in my ship while sending me wildly off course as I repaired them. As the storm subsided, I could see the outpost break free from the horizon, I felt safe. No ships in sight, just me and my treasure (which far outweighed what I had earlier). Then, I see another shipwreck, right there, in my grasp, just one stop away from the outpost and i'm in the clear. Why not? I swoop in and grab another villainous skull, hold my breath and plunge deep, dragging up, ANOTHER captains chest!! this is more like it! I'm glad I got swiped by that galleon crew, this is my day! Then... as I drag my chest on board, and haul the anchor up from the deep, what do I see... just a sloop. But oh no, it's no ordinary sloop, they come charging in, wind on their side and blind side me, right as the anchor is loose and I start sailing... oh no, this is bad, this is really bad, why Poseidon why? I startle my way into the lower deck and repair madly, I turn, sway, set sail, pull a handbrake turn and get a few into them! Then I get clogged by a cannonball, directly in my cranium. I spend time on the ferry, panicking about my haul, and run through the doors again full pace! They hadn't taken anything yet!! whoop. We continue for about 20 minutes, over 20 nautical miles, they would not let up! Credit to the crew of that ther vessel, they did what a good pirate should. Then, I get swept from the boat, from some magical wind... I can reach them! My boat careens into them bow first and I swim to there's! I climb the ladders as my sail crumbles before me. She was a fine ship. They dive deep for the haul, unawares i'm hiding in their lower deck, waiting for them to repair, one comes down, shot him dead, the other I just missed his head! I reload furiously, as the boat creaks, croaks and lets out it's terminal breath! "Te Davy Jones' locker with you and your crew may you rest!" I yell (because i'm a pirate of course). I spread my arms, and let him shoot me dead. Hoping that maybe I return from the ferry and find those old chests. I don't. They're gone, so I set off again, only to be swept up on my voyage, but that bloody Kraken... This is what makes this game great. True, I laughed and chuckled the whole time, give or take a few! My luck ran dry, that faithful voyage, but i'll return again. For this is not the end of Capn Leftie, but today alt-f4 was my friend.

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