I hear you people like stories of the sea, well, let me tell you one that happened just yesterday while it's still fresh on my mind.
We are a rookie crew, no way around it. We got the game a while ago but haven't managed to play all 4 together more than a handful of times. Our results had always been... humble, to say the least. But yesterday, oh boy, yesterday luck was on our side. So, here it goes.
We sailed straight to fucknowhere, just looking for adventure. We eventually get a nocturnal glimpse of a Sloop on the distance. Since we're hoarders of the worst kind, we were packed up on everything, which explains why we were aching for a good fight. We didn't even care about the loot (how un-piratish, you'll say), we just wanted to bombard someone to heaven's door.
So we set course straight for this poor Sloop who seems to be very dutifully completing quests at a very respectable speed. Since we followed him, he stopped at 3 different isles, loaded up on crates, or pigs, or whatever and kept pressing on. All the time we were right behind him, looking for our chance to strike, until we finally got it. He had just stepped off the Sloop and we were at firing range, so our captain ordered the anchor down and we positioned in such an angle that all our cannons could hit the broad side of the Sloop. And then, it happened.
A never-ending barrage of cannonballs kept raining down on this poor ship. The captain, as soon as he saw what was happening, tried to return aboard, but the cannonballs kept throwing him off. He deperatedly tried to get on the deck three times, and three times he was knoced over, until one of our crewmates had the decency to board his ship and kill him. When the smoke cleared, the Sloop looked more like a hole than a ship and it indeed sunk rather quickly once we moved it to deeper waters.
As we witnessed our score go down and our bloodlust subsided, we felt a little bit guilty for sneaking on this poor guy just because. But then all his 4 treasures and 4 skulls floated to the surface and our guilt was quickly drowned on grog. We drunkedly brought everything on board and went to the nearest outpost, which, incidently, happened to be at a stone's throw from our current position. Then it dawned on us: this guy was completing his last quest to then cash-in a good gold reward for a long night of effort. He was just about to make it when we happened on him, just because we wanted something to shoot at. He was unlucky, we were not. That's one cardinal sea rule you can't really explain until you experience it. And then, we experienced it again.
Thinking we were on a roll, we headed to do a Skull Fort. Morale was high and we felt pretty much invincible, despite knowing we were a bunch of sea slugs. Nevermind that, we said, grog down our throats and a good song on our hearts, we set for the Skull Fort and made it in record time.
Once there, the routine unfolded as you would expect. Wave after wave of skeletons. Our captain positioned the Sea Monkey (our Galleon) in such a way so he could shoot at the skeletons as we lured them into the beach. It was a risky maneouver, spending all our over 100 cannonballs on this meager task, but, as I said earlier, we were drunk with power... and grog. So, we just went for it.
Everything was going pretty smoothly until, maybe 20 minutes of skeleton -slaying, one of our mates goes: "Oi, what the s**t balls? There be water here!". "Well", we replied, "f****n' use the bucket why don't ya?", and he went: "We are being shot at, you idiots!". By what? Skeletons? Not possible, we had cleared the island at that point, and there was no Galleon on sight. We kept on looking until we saw it: a tiny Sloop on the horizon, timidly firing away at our position, as if he wasn't really sure if to commit or not to stealing our chance at treasure. Oh, but we sure were commited to bring him down! What, with all our 5 cannonball... oh... oh no.
So, there we were: ball-less and huge, just taking it up the a*s like morons. A couple of the mates stayed on board patching the ship up, while the rest tried to scavenge for whatever we could fin on the island. We eventually rounded up around 10 or 15 balls, not enought to do anything, but maybe we could drive them away, we thought. So, we raised anchors and sailed in the direction of this insolet Sloopi boy, who, at the sight of us, fled like the devil was on its tail.
We eventually realized it was a crew of two: one, whose name I don't recall, and f****n' ROGER. I remember his name becuase he kept going ashore trying to kill skeletons, and he kept being killed by our people on land. Eventually, we lost sight of him and thought he was aboard his ship with his other mate, so we focused on brining the Sloop down to prevent further thunder-stealing shennanigans. But, as you'd expect, chasing down a Sloop with front wind is almost impossible, and this Captain knew his s**t. He outmaneuvered us many times and sailed around us, forcing us to take sharp turns the Sea Monkey couldn't make for its dear life. All our crew was busy trying to flank this a*****e to no avail. We had two on land, firing from the static cannons and two on the Galleon, trying to board them, but he was just so slippery. We were so focused on this than when we heard a kind of triumphant fanfarre, we startled. "Da f**k was that?! Did you guys hear taht?! Did some of you kill the Captain fo the Fort?!"
Indeed, someone had killed the captain. Mother-f****n' ROGER did. While we were busy trying to mow down his friend, this sneaky-a*s sea dog had infiltrated the fort, lured down the captain to a secluded corner of the isle where we couldn't find him, and had killed him. We immediately stopped chasing the Sloop and panick ensued: "FIND HIM, FIND HIM, HE HAS THE KEY".
We all spread through the Fort looking for the thief to no avail, until, i got a glimpse of a shadow jumping from the top of the Fort down the water. Skeletons don't do that, only frickin' thieves do that! So I chased away and, indeed, I saw ROGER, swimming like a snake straight for the Sloop, which had positioned himself perfeclty for a quick getaway. It hadn't even dropped anchor.
"GET HIM" my mates shouted. I had 4 shots of the Blunderbuss and that was it. My first shot failed. "DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY". My second shot got his leg. "#%$%$$%". My third shot got him in the chest. "NOWWWWW". I aimed down the sights in the middle of the ocean, pressed the trigger and... saw his green ghost float to heaven. The key followed.
While I was doing this, our Captain had circled around the Sloop and got some good shots on it. Another mate managed to get on board and killed the captain before he could run away. Then, he got the wheel and drove the freaking thing straight into the bay, wrecking him beyond repair. We saw it go down from our deck, still on edge of possible boarders, but that was it. No one returned form the Ferry of the Dead and we were left alone to gather our haul and sail it to safety.
All in all, we did like 20k that night. I don't know if that's a lot or not for you guys, but for us, was a hell of a score. We eventually said our goodbyes, thanking Lady Luck for a good nigthly run.
Thanks for reading and here's to the sunken ones and ROGER. We had a great time and it wouldn't have been possible withouth you. Cheers mate, see you on the sea.
