Hi there,

I'm a Pirate. I do big jumps, and when I jump? My athleticism knows no limits - I just spin, and spin. I like to do this because I feel pretty cool when I do. Got a chest in my arms? SPIN WITH IT. Jumping off the front of my ship onto a Port? SPIN WITH IT. Jumping off the Port on to the ladder? JUMP, SPIN, CLIMB. This is a lifestyle.

HOWEVER. It's come to my attention that when I am doing my Spinny Boy Incorporated shizzle, nobody else can see this. It looks like a plain jump - And that makes me SICK. To know that such effort, such a jaw-dropping experience is being looked over? Well, I could cry.

Please, please for the love of all the Pirate Legends, incorporate Spinny Boy Incorporated Shizzle, it'll make my heart full, and I will love you.

Thank you.

From, Dad.