How to keep my friends playing?

  • After years of trying to convince countless friends to play this game, time and time again they are driven away by sweats spamming "gg ez" while I am trying to introduce them to the game. Time and time again I find myself solo slooping because they refuse to play with me again. Today it happened again. Two of my friends agreed to play with me, and all week it was the same story. Spend a huge chunk of time getting skulls/chests/etc. Get absolutely slaughtered by people at the end. Is it a PvP game? Yes. My frustration comes from how ANTI-NOOB this community, game, and developers are. I asked them, and pleaded to just keep playing. That if we just keep fighting, they will get better at pvp and it will be better. Unfortunately they, like the rest of my amigos that I have tried to get to play, uninstalled tonight.

    How have you guys done it? How do you keep your friends who are new, playing?

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  • I don't convince people

    I'm not a marketer for the game and my experience isn't universal

    Above all else I am a friend to a friend so I don't go beyond "if it interests you try it out"

    This is a unique experience, it's very different for everyone

    I simply refuse to convince people, I only present it as an opportunity and if they don't enjoy it they aren't wrong, it's just not compatible and I completely understand it.

    I'll support them not playing every bit as much as I'll support them playing. It's their experience.

    People that want to participate are far more likely to enjoy the process of their participation.

  • I don't know, how did you market it to your friends to get them to try the game in the first place?

    If it was anything like I've went through, you telling them "Oh it's great and don't worry about the PvP it's not as bad as people claim it is", then there is your first mistake: You downplayed what you identified as an "Anti-Noob" culture in this game.

  • Imo the game isn't for everyone and even people that like the experience might not keep playing for more than a hundred hours.
    I've manage to get some of my IRL friends to play. They played between 40 to 110 hours but at some point they just shelved the game to play something else. Not everyone connects at a deep enough level with the game to play it as a main game for a long period of time.

    The best advice I think is to find people already invested in the game to play with. I've met plenty of friends in the sea and on the discords. Some of them I met in real life and forged a true friendship over the years.

  • My group's story may be relatable...

    My regular daily crewmate and I have always embraced every aspect of the game. We began our journey grinding PvE and tolerating PvP. These days, though, we absolutely love engaging in PvP and playing the hunter. The PvP part was an "acquired taste"...but once we really embraced it and treated loot like a cherry on top more than a requirement to our session, we absolutely fell in love with the PvP aspect. Thousands and thousands of hours in, we both still love it and lean more heavily on the PvP side of the game now.

    That said, the rest of our group abandoned the game for similar reasons to your friends. They didn't embrace PvP, loot was the only reason they played, and they were sick of having sessions sum up in a "boss battle" against another crew where you had nothing to gain and everything to lose.

    My regular crewmate and I had been sprinkling in tales of our battles and triumphs in our group chat. The glory. The laughs. The losses. The intensity of the great battles.

    Then, we got them to bite. We said let's just do a session where we play the hunters. We'll collect loot along the way, but we're not doing any voyaging or world events. We'll just hunt Emissaries and have some laughs.

    We had an absolute blast. Lost some battles, won some battles, laughed a ton and engaged with some other crews along the way with some laughs and grogs.

    A couple sessions of that mentality and playstyle and they were in love all over again (they're all founders). I'll never forget after that first session, my one buddy was like "holy $&-@ SOT is super fun again!"

    Now, when we all hop on to game on a Saturday night or something, SOT isn't the last choice, it's the first choice.

    Take what you want from that story, but if you treat SOT as a PvE game and loathe PvP, then I don't have hopes for your friends ever enjoying the game. PvE in SOT is incredibly easy and monotonous. It's like powerwashing simulator...satisfying. It's only a fraction of the game, though, and you have no control over when the part that's actually challenging (PvP) is going to be on top of you.

  • @evildankus Don’t try to convince them. Imagine someone at a party with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. The person loves them. Now imagine that person walking around the room, “You have to try these. Go on. Good huh? No? You didn’t like it. Try another one. Just try again, you’ll see. Please? They get better.” Some of the people may not like chocolate chip cookies. Maybe they just ate. Maybe they don’t like that kind of chocolate or they like crunchy cookies and yours are softer. Just let them be. They tried it and didn’t like the game. It is okay. Don’t try to “work on” people to get them to do what you want them to do. That will drive them away. You are in a tug-of-war with your friends. Just drop the rope. You can widen your circle of friends to include people who alteady play the game, or join your friends in a different game that you all enjoy. Your statement that people who sink you are “sweats” tells me you may not actually like this game either. You like parts of it, but thieves on the sea are a major part of the game.

    Also, sell often. Don’t hoard hours of loot on board. Never hold onto more loot than you and your friends are okay with losing. If your friends are new then maybe turn in more often than you normally would so they can get the enjoyment of cashing in.

  • Not sure why everyone are like "dont force them" I dont think OP is thinking that way, its more about how to show sides that might appeal to them enough.

    As stated, Sea of Thieves is really not for everyone, its a mix of many things and some people like me open to that and some care for certain aspects.

    It depends in what are you willing to give up, my example to give you is how ive sacrificed my competitive nature. (which im not recommending to do)
    Played with a friend that really enjoyed the game but absolutely hated any sign of stress, its completely fine when we do PvE stuff and chat about life etc, but she felt frustrated when PvP was involved. And I felt like im on a leash, so I told her that maybe its better for me to just play with other players when im in the mood for more then PvE.

    This example unfortunately dont give a solution but possibly how you can enjoy.
    Trying to make sure that your friends will enjoy enough to keep playing sounds like a chore!
    Either you only sometimes play with them in their style a different game or just move on and find another crew.

    Not saying you should ditch friends over a video game hahahaha but im not aware of ways to make it work, but fully understand where you are coming from.

  • @faceyourdemon said in How to keep my friends playing?:

    Not sure why everyone are like "dont force them".

    Well, the following statements from their post my be a clue:

    How to keep my friends playing?

    trying to convince countless friends to play this game

    They refuse to play with me again

    I asked them, and pleaded to just keep playing.

    Your take may be the right one, but it reads like someone trying to hard sell the game to friends.

  • Yeah, the OP is trying to convince people that they should be playing SoT, or to keep playing SoT.
    I personally don't like to sway others opinions, meddling or "influence" others. I've learned that it generally demonstrates someone is a control freak, and maybe even intolerant. :D If people want to do something, they will do it or learn on their own without outside influence.

  • @ghostpaw Idk, to me like it sounds like "Im really enjoying something and I want to share this with my friends".

    If it was just about playing SoT he probably would have moved on and found a dedicated crew.

  • Show them the OG trailers, they either get hooked by then or they don't

  • they are driven away by sweats spamming "gg ez

    They must be new to the whole Open world thing then. If that is what is driving them away...

    trying to introduce them to the game.

    watch a few Youtube videos and such. Best introduction and of course, rip the band aid off because it better to experience it now than later.

    Spend a huge chunk of time getting skulls/chests/etc. Get absolutely slaughtered by people at the end.

    Yeah..and? Could and happens to everyone. You get to comfy and suddenly something bad happens.
    Like building in minecraft, you build a house only for a creeper to show up.

    My frustration comes from how ANTI-NOOB this community, game, and developers are.

    Anti noob? So you want a game to hold your hand?

    That if we just keep fighting, they will get better at pvp and it will be better.

    You are on the right here. Get better and practice, and if your friends dont wanna put in a little work to achieve it. Move on. Don't pester them to play something they themselves dont wanna work on because the game doesn't give them freebies
    (Even tho Seasons, Daily/weekly rewards are easy to do and come naturally)

    Unfortunately they, like the rest of my amigos that I have tried to get to play, uninstalled tonight.

    That is on them. Some gamers can't handle a little pvp in an Open World PvpvE game. Gamers today (most the younger and pre-teens) are so use to games holding there hand, and giving them free stuff without a challenge. Once they see how they have to 'work' they quit the game.

    How have you guys done it?

    me personally.

    • Make the game. It is what it is.
    • Turn the adventure into out own fun. Listen to background music and chat among ourselves.
    • Expect the unexpected and know what to happen. Game is so straight forward, after the first hour if nothing has happened...something isn't right.
    • Its a game to do together. If one friend enjoys it, Im gonna stick with my friend regardless. Because it what they enjoy and they in turn, do the same for me.
  • Unfortunately, this is a love it or leave it game, in my experience.

    When my son and I picked up the beta and started we were full of excitement for the retail release. I convinced my brother and my good friend to get it. We had a full crew and were excited.
    The retail released, and SoT became our top game. We played constantly. My friend never really took to it, it was boring to him. He was the first to drop. This took about a month to happen. My brother was next to step off the gangplank. By this time my son and I would duo sloop. He got his friends into it and he was gone for a while with his new crew before they eventually got bored. Once he hit PL, after the first year anniversary, he’s pretty much not picked the game up. Occasionally on a new update he’ll hop on, for an update like Pirates of the Caribbean. Play for a few sessions and get bored.

    So, after roughly a month or so of playing I lost my entire crew. I can not get them back into it and some other friends of mine won’t even touch it. However, I’ve made a lot of friends on this game. I’ve never made friends in online games. Just wasn’t my thing. About month 2, I met my main crew mate. We both had the the same mindset and work schedule. It just worked out. We made PL that first year and we’ve been sailing regularly since then.

    In the time since, I’ve added hundreds of people that I’ve met. I’ve joined a couple of awesome groups. I can pretty much can find a crew anytime I want to sail. I do still sail alone quite often though.

    In my opinion, this game requires a change in the mindset of the gamer. There is no other game like it. I’m no fan boy for the developers either. There are a plethora of problems within the game itself and the community. With that being said, I’m not commenting to complain about those things.

    I’d love nothing more than to get my son and my friends to see this game the way the people who love this game see it. I show them crazy clips of my adventures to try and get them back. They just can’t/won’t see it, that’s ok though. There are plenty of us out there. Go find your crew.

    Fair seas and following winds my friend.

  • The more you try to convince them and the higher hopes you have to get an Epic evening , the more it will fall into the water... i may be wrong but it feels to me that your crew is a bit inexperienced . i don't mean this as an offence , i only want to say that it is maybe better to avoid human players at first , just to bring that treasure in , but what you absolutely must try to pursue is Skeleton ships , or skeleton Fleets or even try to get missions which involve Ghost Fleets so your crew can learn how to use the cannons and get acquanted with the cannon's angle. This way they not only learn to aim and hit those ships but also specificly target things like : hitting under the waterline, hitting the opposite cannoneers , hitting the helmsman and most importantly , and very crucial , start to communicate who will repair and when this repairman needs a hand in bailing...

    i know that this game looks arcady and simple ( and also very Beautiful) but don't let that" simple" look missguide you because it's just isn't easy to form a well oiled crew ... It needs time to determine how all the different Personalities of a crew work together and how those persons work under pressure ... Will they blame eachother when things go wrong or will they be able to leave the cannons in order to save the ship ...Who is the PvP bosun and who is the one that shoots from a distance or who is the person that loses his hope as soon as someone drops the anchor ...

    i said this before and will tell this again , Rare has created a game that has an underlying Layer on which they try to make people communicate and work together again, find compromizes and spend time and patience in order to make their mates better... i compare this game a bit with my Factory...

    When New and young people come in , it is the moral duty for us , old socks , to make sure they don't get hurt while we try as much as we can on a relative short time to share knowledge and experience and press them on their Hearts to shout for help if needed , without feeling uneasy nor embarrased... This sounds more easy than it is in reality...

    And this how Sea of Thieves works... i play in an oiled team but sometimes things just go worng , then you just take that slap and say " Tomorrow is a new and different day on the Seas"...

    So don't force them , just try to avoid and excercise on the Skeleton ships , let them feel the adrenaline of sinking a ship , even if it's AI , when they get hooked , they will stay and if not ... they will go ... There's nothing wrong with that...It's a Free World ...Except ,if they leave SOT to play Skull and Bones ( The SOT Killer that was supposed to appear in 2018 no 2019 no 2020 no 2021 no 2022), then ... you can shoot them like a rabbies dog...hihihihihihiiiiiii).

  • Take them on sneaky offence adventures.
    Like getting a rowboat and some kegs. Blowing up peoples ships when they’re at an island or fort.
    The sneakiness is incredibly fun.
    They’ll see that it can be very rewarding and profitable to sink other peoples ships. Give them a taste for blood in a fun low stakes way and they’ll realise PVP can actually be fun.
    And when you do fail, it’s usually pretty hilarious.

    I do the same thing with new people. I don’t expect them to be good at the game and they get to be a part of a fun heist with zero consequences if we lose. Highly recommend.

  • I bring them food twice a day and make sure the chains in the basement are secure.

  • Find people who already want to play this game. Alternatively doing PvE missions isn't a great attention grabber for new people to stick around. The best thing you can do with new players is to Hide on someone else's boat, engage in some cleaver pvp instead of going head first into naval battle, show them how in sot you can win a fight just by doing some 1000IQ plays, or you can get into some other shenanigans with other pirates on the server. Engagements like this are what make new players want to stick around. Doing the easy pve in this game and then discovering pvp is a backward approach.

  • @ssolutionss And if you tried that "Unique" style of play and didn't find entertaining but find the "Boring" PvE more enjoyable? What do you do then?

  • I too myself have a hard time getting friends to play this. Always looking for players to sail the seas with. LBZER is the name. On daily with stream included.

  • @crowedhunter Okay, but you make it sound like it's a bad thing that they want to play treasure seekers. I remember my time doing that, it was fun to do, even solved a few riddles.

    To me it sounds like you expected them to become hardened PvP sailors but ended up preferring the simpler things and are annoyed with it.

  • Put them in a cage with PC

  • @ssolutionss said in How to keep my friends playing?:

    Find people who already want to play this game. Alternatively doing PvE missions isn't a great attention grabber for new people to stick around. The best thing you can do with new players is to Hide on someone else's boat, engage in some cleaver pvp instead of going head first into naval battle, show them how in sot you can win a fight just by doing some 1000IQ plays, or you can get into some other shenanigans with other pirates on the server. Engagements like this are what make new players want to stick around. Doing the easy pve in this game and then discovering pvp is a backward approach.

    100 percent this. Show them what’s truly unique and in a low pressure way.

  • @wolfmanbush blackmail

  • @evildankus Oh how this thread tickles my funny bone. The irony is delicious. For four years I have been screaming my head off about how awesome this game is - except for all the people. I have logged in to 6 servers this morning and 6 times got attacked by "people" (yes I wanted to use a different word there) and I'm done. I'm going to go play something else on my day off today. "Git gud" is not a valid response. The player base screams back that if there are PvE servers than that will be the death of the game. Why is that exactly? Hmmmm... Maybe all the people that feel the same way I do will go play on them in other words all of your easy kills while you chuckle and drool on yourselves will dry up. Oh darn....that's heart breaking. I'm really sorry that your friends won't play with you because of the (again, I want to use a word here)'s. My friends won't play with me for the same reason. I can barely stand to play this for that reason. I love the graphics and the treasure and skull hunting and all the other aspects of the game. It's just the players coming along and wrecking hours of work because they think it's funny that just really ruins it all. You have all my sympathy.

  • @witchcraft2737 said in How to keep my friends playing?:

    Oh how this thread tickles my funny bone. The irony is delicious. For four years I have been screaming my head off about how awesome this game is - except for all the people. I have logged in to 6 servers this morning and 6 times got attacked by "people" (yes I wanted to use a different word there) and I'm done. I'm going to go play something else on my day off today. "Git gud" is not a valid response. The player base screams back that if there are PvE servers than that will be the death of the game. Why is that exactly? Hmmmm... Maybe all the people that feel the same way I do will go play on them in other words all of your easy kills while you chuckle and drool on yourselves will dry up. Oh darn....that's heart breaking. I'm really sorry that your friends won't play with you because of the (again, I want to use a word here)'s. My friends won't play with me for the same reason. I can barely stand to play this for that reason. I love the graphics and the treasure and skull hunting and all the other aspects of the game. It's just the players coming along and wrecking hours of work because they think it's funny that just really ruins it all. You have all my sympathy.

    4 years in and you have refused to adapt to the environment and improve the outcome of your sessions by minimizing losses and selling regularly?

    The main issue that pvers run into is them blocking themselves from their own success. Rather than adapting to minimize risk to keep it within their comfort zone, rather than make the changes needed to improve chances of their enjoyment they fight against the design of the game.

    A pver really only needs to take a few tough losses in their entire piratical career, the learning losses, after those they establish what they are and aren't comfortable with, then all they need to do is adapt to it.

    As more content has been released there are more options to reduce interaction/hostility

    They have made it much easier to sell

    There is content that doesn't take a long time now

    Refusal to adapt for one's own benefit isn't on anyone other than the one making that decision.

  • @wolfmanbush nice rationalizing.

  • @witchcraft2737 Find me a PVE server related post that doesn't use the sentence "after hours of work", i dare ya.

    I'm just wondering what the hell are you doing for so long? Especially after playing for 4 years.

  • @witchcraft2737 said in How to keep my friends playing?:

    @wolfmanbush nice rationalizing.

    I've lived it for years

    Most of what I have done has been alone and when I play with others it's open crews

    I know what pvers go through because I have gone through it over and over again.

    I lose fights regularly for all sorts of different reasons

    There is a process that leads to success.

    1. Remove expectation, it only causes frustration and wastes time and nobody is obligated to care about expectations or abide by them.

    2. Remove taking it personal. No matter what someone says or what someone does there is no winning and no losing in taking it personal, it slows down progress. It's random, nobody knows you, nobody knows your story or your character. Kindness has meaning because there was thought put into effect, there is knowledge of impact with kindness. Negative things in a random environment are splatters on the wall, they are messy and loud but it's random, it's not truth, it doesn't have context to be personal.

    3. Strategize and implement strategy based on goals. Ever-changing, ever-adjusting, every-adapting, no room for complacency or arrogance, the environment is always changing so the strategy is always changing

    4. Appreciation. Luck doesn't work one way it provides two types of experiences, we too often take for granted the fortunate rolls while focusing on the unfortunate. There is always something to appreciate

    5. Battle against ego not with ego, this is an on-going battle in all of our pirate lives. Ego leads a person in a circle and we are trying to move forward. Make decisions that make sense for the goals, for the health of the crew, for longevity. Ego eats away at longevity by serving imaginary wins now.

    6. Don't try to force positivity just use negativity as fuel to navigate in a positive direction. It's fine to get upset, frustrated, ticked off, that's just existing, it's the reaction to it that matters, what is done about it and with it that matters.

  • @evildankus

    I also have not succeeded. I don't see anyone on my friends list playing SOT anymore. Whilst lots of that is natural after many years, those I have talked too are fed up of other players they encounter as the main reason for falling out of love with the game.

    Would they play the game again if they could do so on a PVE server? I would imagine many would. But that's never going to be the future of this game. So those players are lost to the sea.

  • @wolfmanbush you are a very wise person. Thank you for your encouragement and advice. I apologize for being flip with you.

  • @evildankus
    If they don't like the PVP aspect of the game, invite them to play with you on an alliance server. The people here in the forums won't like it, but Rare has made it clear that you can play this game however you want short of actually using hacks and cheats.

    Alliance servers are perfectly valid ways to enjoy the game, and I know of a few that are very open and accepting to good people!

  • @needsmokes said in How to keep my friends playing?:

    Would they play the game again if they could do so on a PVE server? I would imagine many would. But that's never going to be the future of this game. So those players are lost to the sea.

    So we are just ignoring alliance servers now?

    Players can have PvE servers if they put in the time...

  • Just play the game as-is. Introduced most of my friends via the Roar without flags as to not invite active hunting on a newbie crew from Reapers and that gave them enough of a love for the game to play on an on-again off-again basis.

  • If your friends don't want to play, you can't convince them.

    Trust me.

    Just move on to new crews, unfortunately.

  • Same my friends hate PvP games. I do too but I still get sucked into this game every few months until I get sunk at an annoying time or keep running into too many other players then I quit. I take off for the Red Sea as soon as I see other players. I get pulled back in from the collecting aspect tho. I like to gather cosmetics in games maybe see why they play games and what aspects they enjoy and just hope thieves has one of them lol

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